A New Page
I am 27 years old. I have two children; ages two and six. I have been in the same relationship for seven years.”
The abuse started when I was pregnant with my oldest child. I always considered myself the untouchable one…… and was beyond shock when the abuse began. I blamed myself… for not being a good wife, for
not being the most attentive mother, for not meeting his every need.
The abuse worsened over the years, but I learned how to hide my scars (both physical and emotional) and still managed to hold my head up high….at least when in public. Each day I felt as though I was walking the fine line between life and death….hoping that I would somehow manage to get out alive.
My best friend knew about the abuse and repeatedly tried to convince me to leave him. She didn’t understand my fear…I was and still am so scared. He’d threatened to get custody of the kids and to kill Rex, our family dog if I ever left. I knew he would find me and then the situation would be even worse. I often asked myself: “Isn’t there another page in this book? I want to write just one more page.”
It was a Saturday night and he just returned from a night out with the boys. He stumbled in the door and heard my two year old crying. This set him off yet once again, and after what seemed like forever, the police showed up. I assume the neighbour’s called them. The police officer told me that there is only one way out and soon thereafter the children and I walked away from the dark tears. We were not alone, as the police officer escorted us to the shelter.
The worker was very welcoming and made me feel so at ease…..but I was still very scared….especially about my future. The worker reassured me that together we will turn that page. She showed us to our private bedroom which also had a full bathroom. The worker got me settled, offered to make me a cup of tea, and then showed the children the playroom so they would have a positive imagine in their heads as they climbed
into bed for the night.
As my children left my side for a brief few minutes, the tears fell freely and my brain felt like a volcano about to erupt. I tried to pull it together so that my children didn’t see me so distraught. Should we stay or should we go back home….I think how ironic…this is what I’d been wondering for the past several years….should I stay or should I leave him? I was worried about Rex. How could I have left our family dog at home? Was he okay? I told the worker I felt so guilty about this. She explained to me that Women’s Crisis Services has a partnership with the Humane Society. They had foster parents set up who would take Rex until we found our own new home. That was such a huge relief.
I was bruised and swollen. Exhaustion quickly set in. I lay awake for hours and the words that kept going through my mind were: “I cannot stand in the line of fire any longer.” I needed to be strong, for my children, and for our future. Eventually I fell asleep…knowing that my life would never be the same again . . . .
A mother who has turned a new page.
This woman and her two children came to our agency in crisis. This woman is not just any woman; she is someone’s daughter, sister, friend, neighbour, colleague, aunt, mother. Our role at Women’s Crisis Services is to assist every woman who seeks our services to “Move Beyond Violence” so that she and her children can live lives free of abuse. Help us with a donation today.