Characteristics of Abusers

  • 80% were abused as children or saw their mothers abused
  • Blame partners for their abusive behaviour
  • Place unrealistic expectations on partners in order to feel good about themselves
  • Are jealous and possessive of partners
  • Tend not to trust other people, and therefore tend not to share inner world with others
  • Have limited or no social network; partner is closest person they know
  • Highly emotionally dependent on partner; subject to depression known only to family
  • Tend to express all negative feelings as anger
  • Have low self-esteem
  • Get needs met by control, such as violence and threats
  • May threaten suicide if partner leaves
  • Represented across all socioeconomic, educational, racial, age and ethnic groups
  • Can be very pleasant outside of the home and very unkind at home
  • Frequently demanding and aggressive in sexual behaviour
  • Hold very traditional, stereotypical views of male-female roles and relationships
  • Lack sympathy for partner’s physical and emotional pain
  • Tend to minimize and deny the abuse
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