Characteristics of Abusers

• 80% were abused as children or saw their mothers abused
• Blame partners for their abusive behaviour
• Place unrealistic expectations on partners in order to feel good about themselves
• Are jealous and possessive of partners
• Tend not to trust other people, and therefore tend not to share inner world with others
• Have limited or no social network; partner is closest person they know
• Highly emotionally dependent on partner; subject to depression known only to family
• Tend to express all negative feelings as anger
• Have low self-esteem
• Get needs met by control, such as violence and threats
• May threaten suicide if partner leaves
• Represented across all socioeconomic, educational, racial, age and ethnic groups
• Can be very pleasant outside of the home and very unkind at home
• Frequently demanding and aggressive in sexual behaviour
• Hold very traditional, stereotypical views of male-female roles and relationships
• Lack sympathy for partner’s physical and emotional pain
• Tend to minimize and deny the abuse